Original: Great horny toads! I done dug myself clean to Chinee!Ĭensored: Great happy toads! I done dug myself clean to-Is this Asia? Original: Ya no-account, bushwhackin’ barracuda!Ĭensored: Ya NorCal, tush-spankin’ barracuda! Original Version: Get outta there, you rassa-frassin’ fur-bearin’ critter!Ĭensored Version: Get outta there, you wrestle-freezing, forebearing creature! IF YOSEMITE SAM’S CURSES WERE CONSIDERED REAL PROFANITY AND WERE DUBBED OVER FOR TELEVISION IN THE SAME CLUMSY, UNCONVINCING MANNER AS 1980s R-RATED MOVIES by Martin Bell Politician who has forsaken his grassroots values discovers potato in shapes of own head mashes it.īurned-out rock star looks down at himself during out-of-body experience refuses to go back into body “until we start seeing some changes around here, mister.”Īging supermodel has plaster cast made of face backs over it in SUV.Īlcoholic author looks at reflection in a tumbler of Scotch drinks Scotch pours another to see if he looks any better in this one. Woman who married for wealth rather than love looks at photo on driver’s license goes to DMV to ask for new photo. Junkie jazz singer sees self in back of spoon uses telekinetic powers to bend it until it snaps in two.Īctress who clawed her way to the top catches reflection in pond uses nearby backhoe to drain pond. THINGS THIS ONE GIRL SITTING NEAR ME IN A MOVIE THEATER SAID OUT LOUD WHEN ONE OF THE CHARACTERS WAS SHOWN PULLING INTO A GAS STATION by Conley Wouters BODY SHOP: ONE LAST LOOK AT HOSTEL PART IIįrom Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney’s Book of Lists (2006):.
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